Dear Sirs,
On how to pay a compliment. And not be a creepy shitbag.
Hello gentlesirs, menfolks, cisdude homies.
Hey it is your little weirdo friend Shannon. We’re gonna talk dude to dude, homie to homie. Listen honey bruhs, I want to tell y’all a story about HOW to compliment a woman looking person in a way that isn’t creepy, gross or otherwise bad.
First let me set the scene. Yours truly, wearing a knee length Kawaii inspired print skirt with pastel druzys, unicorns, magic wands, burgers, clouds, donuts, hearts and diamonds. Black tights. Black velvet platform high tops. Cute AF.
While waiting for a light, a construction bro waves at me and says, excuse me. I groan internally but turn to look and pop off one headphone from my ear. He smiles and says- Your outfit is great. I dig your style and those are really cool shoes.
Let us talk body language. He was not all up in my grill. He was not trying to touch me. He was not in my personal bubble. He was not staring at my tits. Leering or otherwise making with the creep. I did not move closer.
I said, thanks!
We parted ways.
Had I been trying to tap that (he was very thicc and cute) I probably would have been like, oh thanks what’s your name..blablabla.
THIS is how the fuck to pay a compliment. As we’ve talked about previously, sometimes your approach is not gonna work. Sometimes, you gotta take the L. If you’re trying to be an actual nice guy and not the kind of nice guy who yells about being a nice guy then has a melt down about how all women are cunts, let me tell you a few couple thing.
Number One. Making contact with, speaking to or otherwise being engaged with a woman or woman appearing person, does not mean you get to fuck, are owed fucking or any crotch to crotch contact. Let me tell you one of the greatest secrets being a dude has robbed many of you of knowing, knowing and talking to women on a human to human level, even when they are SUPER attractive, is pretty great. A lot of women are pretty fuckin cool.
I know, weird right? Here’s the thing that toxic masculinity has taught a lot of you and that has robbed you of some great times. Not all people who are or present as women, are only good for sexy times. If you are not confident in hitting on women, knowing women on a human level can be helpful. You can learn in a no pressure to get your dick wet situation, that women are people. Also, having friends is great.
Number Two. DID U KNO, if you make an effort to not be a creepy asshole, sometimes when you make your move, you’re gonna be memorable as the guy who was actually nice and not Nice. Thing is, if you are really vocal about how nice you are, because men who do that have become a problem for most women, most women are going to run the fuck away from you. It doesn’t matter if you personally are in fact a super nice dude, other dudes ruined it for you.
Relevant to the above. It is 20-goddamn-19. I KNOW #notallmen. That said, look on the real real, other men have ruined a lot of shit for all men. Don’t be mad at women about this, we did not make it a thing. To put it in a different but also difficult context read this quote about white folks as said by the greatest of greats, Muhammad Ali:
“There are many white people who mean right and in their hearts wanna do right,” he said. “If 10,000 snakes were coming down that aisle now, and I had a door that I could shut, and in that 10,000, 1,000 meant right, 1,000 rattlesnakes didn’t want to bite me, I knew they were good… Should I let all these rattlesnakes come down, hoping that that thousand get together and form a shield? Or should I just close the door and stay safe?”
If you want extra context and need more violent examples. Go to the google machine and look up the single phrase woman murdered and start reading. You might not wind up getting to screw the woman you think is hot if she says no. If we say no well……..
Last.
Most important.
To get the best results, take a minute and be honest with you. I trust y’all homies to know on some level if you’re being weird and creepy. Don’t. Be actually the nice dude you can be. Don’t go right for weird sexual shit. Respect space. Be better.
I tell y’all this because I hear all too often men lamenting that they no longer know how to talk to a woman. Let’s be real, if you seriously ONLY talk to a woman and feel like she’s going to have a #metoo story you know you are doing it wrong and should stop talking to women until you deal with that. Otherwise, say hi. Say, I like your style. Say, have a good day.
Keep it pushin’. Learn some shit. Be better. Not just to get your dick wet but, because in the long run, it’ll make your real lived life richer and greater.
Now, my dudes. Go out. Talk to some folks. Be cool. I believe in you.
Love,
Shannon
